Friday, November 21, 2008

Is what i want, what i really want?

I dont read much.. its always like suchh a blah to read.. My friends would go like - u wont regret it, its an ammazing book, its jus like a movie.. Its like i need an initial push to start reading a book, n i wud try to pick a thin book - n my friend once mentioned, "its a novel, not some text book! the longer,the better n more the fun".. n i was like- ya ya, watever.. :P So i make sure the few books that i do read are really nice. There was this time in school where we had to give reviews of a book in 9th standard, and i picked 'alchemist', honestly cos it was small.. n also cos everyone had told me that it was really worth it. Shockingly, i actually enjoyed the so muchh and my thinking was definitely affected by it. It was one of those things which got me thinking about life, purpose of life, why we do the things we do, and so many questions which you know have no answers but you just like wondering about sometimes.. It was a very simple story with just one main underlying message - "If you truly want something, the whole universe conspires to give it to you.."

This simple line got me thinking so much. My interpretation sort of goes like this.. If you truly, really really want something, maybe the universe doesnt give it to you, but you would do anything to get it, sacrifice other things, work really hard for it, which is what really makes you get it. You would make the universe go the way you want, to get whatever it is, if you really want it. If you dint do what it takes to get it, it just means that you dint really want it that much, you jus thought you did. You think you'd be just fine without it also.. It made so much sense and things felt so right about it. It is true, isn't it.. i would do anything it takes if i desparately wanted something n make sure that i do get it. Thats when it waked on me.. so many things i thought i wanted to be or wanted to do and i dint end up becoming or doing.. It was like a wakening to the path of self-realization, how i never actually wanted those things so badly.. Now its just left to me to figure out what is it that im working hard for.. What is it that i really want..

Thursday, November 20, 2008

“What the hell am I doing here??”

After one screwy cycle test paper everyone starts questioning life. Its funny how the pattern follows, first the cribbing about the paper being lengthy or having out of portion or really complicated questions and how preparing or not preparing never makes a difference.. then about the prof being unable to communicate or teach well and how on top of it he/she is stingy in giving marks or even worse, partial!! Then it starts off with someone saying –“ I should have taken commerce right from school! I dunno what the hell I’m doing here.. ”. That just brings a series of similar passions that were abandoned for an “engineering” college.. stuff like fashion or interior designing courses or maybe joining the army or one of the defense forces (the all-time favourite passionate dream of any kid), or being an air-hostess or a pilot.. “I wanted to be a pilot, but once my cousin told me that I cant be one cos I wear specs :( ”. We probably wouldn’t have become one of these anyways, probably because its one of those things you think you want to do cos it seems cool n all, but when the choice is given, we prefer to choose engineering over our “liked” choices cos we figured that we’re not cut-out for it. Then is Engineering something anyone is cut-out for? Lol.. that’s what we think don’t we.. we’ll know only after getting into it.. I wonder, is this feeling resident only in engineering students or is it irrespective of the line you choose..

A walk on the beach..

Its hard for school friends to keep up with each other’s life when you’re far away. Every time we meet, we start off with the same kinda recap and somehow manage to find a recent incident related to school and start talking about it.. and one thing leads to another and it slowly moves on to the people we know, what they’re upto, any latest news( er, well.. gossip :) ) and the shocks(what?? I cant believe she did something like that!!) and awws and hmmms.. As we talk along the bessie beach platform, we invariably meet someone unexpectedly, either a batch mate or junior or senior and then we catch up a bit from them also..

So it was just another regular, I’ve-come-home-so-lets-catch-up sort of meet up on the beach. As we did the usual sorta talking and walking thing, we decided to sit on the side-walks when we ran out of stuff to talk about. So we were hunting for a couple-free zone to sit so that we could look around freely without having the guilt of invading their privacy (not that we don enjoy it, but somehow maybe we dint have the mood that day :P ). So we found a place opposite to 2 old paattis talking and at first we were like – sigh! These old cribbing people! But only after a couple of minutes of silence and just listening to them, we realized that - that’s what we’d be like when we grow old – That’s what friends forever is, isn’t it.. being friends till the very end! Suddenly, it dint seem very far off.. just a few decades, and we’d be on the other side of the side-walk, maybe whining about our children or maybe even grand-children and cursing servant-maids and talking all the mundane stuff, cos definitely after so many years of an almost shared life, there is rarely anything new to talk about.. It was one of those beautiful moments in life which makes you happy for no reason.. Well, of course, it was kinda short-lived, cos once I wished that I don’t ever become one of those irritating old people who complain about teenagers making too much noise or any other silly things, or a really possessive parent or one of those things no one wants to be, but one just becomes without even realizing that we’ve become one, we just lost track of the lovely moment.. And she said – aiyo! You wont you nut.. I’ll keep check on you.. Then we just made arbit plans of being neighbours or at least living in the same area types so that we’d help each other with “family problems” and raising kids.. haha.. the stupid things we talk about anushy! :D

Monday, June 23, 2008


Its true that it was hyped as it was kamal's film n all.. but why do people have to oppose it arbitly. "Oh.. i think its a good effort", "He just wanted to break a record.. thats all he did"..
You dont become great by just commenting on something great! It was definitely extreme effort, and a very successful one ofcourse, of taking tamil cinema to a totally new level.. a total break from the usual crappy romance-crying stories, in which half the actors can barely act!

The man is a genius! He dared to make a movie in a slightly hollywood style, with a briliant touch of indian comedy.. When most of them try to make like an "english movie" by adding scenes of smooching and stuff, well, he tried something new! different! and definitely entertaining, which is the sole purpose of a movie. He never fears to do something out-of-the-way, even when he knows its not going to be a commercial hit. He reaches to a class of people whose level of understanding and way of thinking is not only high but also varied and in a way classy.

and he is amazingly TALENTED, and God-level is just not enough to describe anything about him! The man's definitely a living legend.

p.s. : This post is mainly aimed at those people who inspite of enjoying the film, disagree with same cos its like a fancy to oppose anything thats hyped.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

To scrap an old friend..

Sometimes when im on orkut i see an old friend on the list to the right and i tend to wander off thinking, maybe about some common funny incident that happened or wat i thought about the person, maybe why i hated them or why we never really clicked as friends..

Well what i do next is pretty mucch expected, check out their albums n profile! lol thats always entertaining.. and makes u wonder how they've probably totally changed after coming to college and if they r still a part of the same gang they were in school.. thats also kinda a bit of gossip.. lol :D

Anyways, i suddenly decide to scrap a 'hey' or somethin.. and its amazing to know how surprised they were to c a scrap frm me and then chat a bit about the good old schooldays n wats currently happening in our lives now.. It always brings a warm smile and a sometimes a new friend ofcourse, and u'd invariably end up wondering - i cant believe that she/he was different from wat i thought about them.. we probably just had an impression abt the person without even knowing them in person.. Its always nice to know one more person in a re-union! :) You can actually say something more than just a 'hi'..

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Fun times with my dad - part 2

I love the early morning walks we go for.. well, it doesn really happen often these days but when it does, its real nice. We go to this place called Theosophical Society, which is kinda like a private place for walkers.. Its an amazing route with a varied species of trees from various places and the walk leads you to that part of the beach which is serene and beautiful where you can see the estuary of the adyar river.. well, its quite a site from the distance atleast :) it also has a bridge which we often refer to as "the broken bridge" cos it broke during a rainstorm when it got hit by a lightning long back and hasnt really been fixed since then.. well it definitely serves as a wonderful place to sit and jus watch the sunrise at the estuary with a lovely seebreeze lifting ur hair off ur shoulders..
My dad tells me about the different kinds of birds he identified or his friend showed him.. He talks about the new species of plants they bring in to the nursery there and especially about the teak trees over there with pride!

and sometimes he even encourages me to do some kutti kutti things which are not really "right".. :) well they don really have bad consequences or anything but still.. We'd tresspass into the nursery and he showed me a plant called lemon-grass, which when u crush smells exxactly like 7-up or sprite.. and once he showed me turtles in a well inside..

There is a stretch where we usually jog and i'm not comfortable talking as i'm jogging cos i start panting and i get irritated when ppl talk as they jog cos i don understand wat they're saying and i definitely don want them to repeat it but my dad jus keeps talking as he's panting.. he never stops even when i tell him its irritating.. and this sem-hols also when we jogged he was talking but this time i jus smiled to myself.. he's not changed :) and it kinda jus reminded me of the previous incidents which frankly seemed quite funny now..

Its here where we've had a lot of our serious convo's.. about society, plants, wildlife crisis, govts, people, inflation and loads of other stuff.. And he loves to talk about small small things that fascinate him maybe a flower which he spotted which looks really different or the annie besant memorial he found or the tamarind fruit or neem fruit which we eat on our way.. Once he read about mangroves on metroplus and he was very excited when he remembered that he's seen it in TS..
And when we reach the beach we have our back-bend competition.. well thats probably the only thing i learnt from the gym classes which were held in school.. haha.. thats always fun cos u'll jus understand him jus from that.. He's an impatient man who wants the end result but will put the effort only if he really wants to.. u can see it from the way he hurriedly bends backwards and ends up coming back to standing as fast as he went half-way down or sometimes falls..

He's a really amazing person who enjoys every bit of watevr he does and does only stuff he enjoys.. and he inspires me for that and definitely more.. :)

Fun times with my dad - part 1

Well one of the things i enjoy doing with my dad, or rather for him is making a music cd for him which he listens to while driving his car. The first time i did it we dint have much time to discuss what exactly he wanted so i made something which i'd love to listen.. well, as it turns out, he had a different taste. So today i asked him to choose some songs from whatever i had and it was total fun cos i was trying to convince him that some songs were just AMAZING and forced him to listen to them but he always ended up saying.. "u know, the songs are reeally nice.. i just don like 'em!! ". lol.. :D and then the convo shifts to how he finds the song nice but not like them at the same time.. and he comes up with something for everything.. and i question that also n it just goes on and on until i finally end it with a "fine, fine. watever!".
I played a song and told him "u liked this remember?? " and he says "oh god! no! not this.. definitely no.. tch tch.. its boring.." and for some "ur sister would like all this.. cha chah.. slow stuff.. i like fast ones! " which made me think "boys will be boys".. even if its ur dad, he's a guy first! and he's not gonna appreciate slow melodies..
And sometimes he's forgotten the name and the lyrics of the song he badly wants, and we sit and figure out the song with just one word he remembers or some cast in the movie n he tries singing it to me but im totally clueless or probably more off the track bcos of that.. lol
Its just total fun to listen to his comments on all the songs n stuff.. its more fun when i force him to listen some song, even though he says he doesn like it, by saying "i'm the one making the cd.. so u better try and concentrate and listen to this sond for that atleast.. ".. He'd wait till the end of the song and say.. "hmmm.......... no" and then laugh, i'd say "if u laugh, i'll make u listen to it again"- "aiyyo.. no no.. even the previous song was better" - "so, i'll put that??" - "no!".. my god! lol.. :D its just fun..

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

My fantasy come true.. :)

It began like how any other trip, except this was gonna be more exciting cos it was jus the 2 of us.. the 2 girls!! :D I packed my bags with a big smile on my face.. i already had a very good feeling about the whole trip. Well, the train journey braught my enthu almost to a nil cos it was so damn long and boring, and not to mention sticky.. urghh! But once i reached there i had some of the best mornings i would have ever had in probably my whole life..

I woke up in a 9th floor apartments' cleanest bedroom on an awfully comfortable bed, with the cold morning breeze blowing in through the huge french windows, which overlooked a huge beautiful lake.. man it was sexy!! i have this slow morning, waking up peacefully, feeling happy for no reason and pick up a cup of hot-hot chaai and sit on the bean bag, stretch my legs on the sides of the french window with sliding glass doors.. aaahh.. perfect! :)

Since my sister had gone for work that day, I decide to roam around a bit so i get dressed, helping myself to her lovely collection of clothes and pick up the umbrella as it was mildly drizzling.. The place had buildings of european style and so the whole area looks just gorgeous and so damn classy! That night she took me out for a late dinner at around 930 and that was the first time i had a sizzler.. Man.. it was jus awesome, specially in that cold weather.. Then we walked back at around 11-ish, on the road that banks the lake.. The place is huge with tall buildings.. and with all the light reflecting from the surface of the water, it looks unimaginably beautiful... We walked back lazily singing our favourite songs of Bryan Adams and just enjoying every second.. It was just amazing.. :)

And finally, to top it all off, i travelled in the local trains on a rainy night, all the way from Kolaba cosway(not sure how its spelt), when there was no crowd at all!! We were almost the only people in our compartment and we stood near the entrance just feeling the amazingly cold rain on our faces and just talking..

Man i miss this sooo much!! I wanna come again, neej!! :D
I never really fantasized about something like this.. but i definitely do now!!

p.s... plz spons flight tickets :)

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Brighter Than Sunshine..

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
Brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, i don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
and it's brighter than sunshine

I hardly listen to much of music. But when i like something, i play it over and over and over again. Sometimes i even wake up with that in my head.. its awesome :) This is one of them.. Thank you neej!! what ll i do without u n ur emule :)